anger - is it really about the argument?

I have seen many of my friends, who are generally very good at managing the conversations, lose it once in a while and some are perpetually angry.

What is it that causes the anger in us? I think its the poor performance against the expectations, whose expectations? Our expectations. So while on the road, we expect the next guy to give space/adhere to rules/not honk, if any of these does not happen, leads to a trigger and hence the anger.

So what is causing the anger? Its our view of the world - how can that be managed, by we changing the expectations.  

I think the reason we get angry with someone as we lose the respect for that person, we think the other person needs to have the same expectations and if I am adhering to them, the other person needs to. Different people have different expectations and hence there is mismatch of the performance.

If there is respect, we will ask the other guy what were his/her expectations, if there is mismatch, it will be visible and hence the reason for the anger. Should we hold the natural triggers? No, So what was natural in this? Our expectations that we think are natural, may be we need to reorient them.