In one of the blogs I wrote earlier, I have mentioned, what we make of the world around us is the world for us, fundamentally it isn’t good or bad, its how we internalize it.
I think happiness is also such an inside thing.
When we are brought into this world, our genes are structured for two things, survival and multiplication. While we grow from being an infant to a child, the parents and siblings are the biggest influence. They help us survive, they help us by feeding us at the right time, listen to our cries and help us get over them. Our world revolves around them and we think they are the best species in the world. They are our idols. Most of the formatting of us happens at this time, their experiences of the world are fed to us and told what is right and what is not. Our actions in conformance to their expectations are lauded, otherwise are criticized. We keep doing what gets lauded and refrain from the ones that are loaded in favor of criticism. Our happiness is to keep getting lauded from them.
We cross the early teens and start experiencing the world a bit more, our circle grows from just the family to friends. Now, our friends and teachers start to influence how we feel about ourselves. The appreciation in the class becomes a goal and once we get used to it, we keep doing it more and more. In a way we are conforming to the society and feel happiness for being appreciated. The friends become one more source of emotions - happiness, grief, jealousy and what all. Within those, a few drive our happiness, if they tell us we are doing well, we start feeling happy. Sometimes, it starts confronting the happiness we derive from the family, we chose one over the other and make peace.
We start working, we chose the people at the place we work, we want to get appreciation from and if we get it, we feel happy.
And at some stage the girlfriend/boyfriend make us happy or otherwise.
My thinking is, the people we chose to emulate or get appreciation from, make us work in a certain direction and then seek the appreciation and happiness. One may ask, is it such a stage of helplessness? If that person is not going to appreciate what I do, will I all the time feel unhappy? I think there is truth in it.
So, what can one do? Change the people you want to emulate and get inspired from and your metrics of actions you do to make you happy will change.
I think happiness is also such an inside thing.
When we are brought into this world, our genes are structured for two things, survival and multiplication. While we grow from being an infant to a child, the parents and siblings are the biggest influence. They help us survive, they help us by feeding us at the right time, listen to our cries and help us get over them. Our world revolves around them and we think they are the best species in the world. They are our idols. Most of the formatting of us happens at this time, their experiences of the world are fed to us and told what is right and what is not. Our actions in conformance to their expectations are lauded, otherwise are criticized. We keep doing what gets lauded and refrain from the ones that are loaded in favor of criticism. Our happiness is to keep getting lauded from them.
We cross the early teens and start experiencing the world a bit more, our circle grows from just the family to friends. Now, our friends and teachers start to influence how we feel about ourselves. The appreciation in the class becomes a goal and once we get used to it, we keep doing it more and more. In a way we are conforming to the society and feel happiness for being appreciated. The friends become one more source of emotions - happiness, grief, jealousy and what all. Within those, a few drive our happiness, if they tell us we are doing well, we start feeling happy. Sometimes, it starts confronting the happiness we derive from the family, we chose one over the other and make peace.
We start working, we chose the people at the place we work, we want to get appreciation from and if we get it, we feel happy.
And at some stage the girlfriend/boyfriend make us happy or otherwise.
My thinking is, the people we chose to emulate or get appreciation from, make us work in a certain direction and then seek the appreciation and happiness. One may ask, is it such a stage of helplessness? If that person is not going to appreciate what I do, will I all the time feel unhappy? I think there is truth in it.
So, what can one do? Change the people you want to emulate and get inspired from and your metrics of actions you do to make you happy will change.
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